Lance Sergeant Adam ‘Goolie’ Ball

Recovery and Determination

As I drifted in and out of consciousness before being airlifted to Camp Bastion, my last memories in Helmand are primarily of excruciating pain.

I saw Maj David and the CSM looking down, drips going into me and talk of IRT helicopter on its way. The next and last recollection was looking up at the RAF Chinook loadmaster, his helmet and visor covering his face, saying ‘We’re off to Bastion, you are safe now…’

Intensive Care at Selly Oak Hospital

I woke up still in a haze, shouting for Captain Allan at the top of my voice. My mind and body were numbed by drugs and I remember being terrified to see my mother and brother in the room. I angrily instructed them to return immediately to England and to make sure they had adequate support on their way. It took a couple of days, drifting in and out of horrendous nightmares and hallucinations, to finally accept that I was in intensive care in Selly Oak Hospital in Birmingham.

Getting to grips with amputation

My life since returning to the UK has seemingly been an endurance test of two steps forward and one step back. Small steps, such as being in a wheelchair for the first time, allowing me freedom to transport myself, and the day the specialist told me that, despite the shortness of my stump, he could measure me up for a prosthetic, are some of my strongest and happiest memories. The highs are related to events which have allowed me to regain my independence in day to day activities.

Set backs and rehabilitation

With the positives came the negatives: expectations of treatment or recovery times were often over-optimistic, which would crush my morale. Due to an administrative mistake on my transfer from Selly Oak to the Forces Rehabilitation Centre at Headley Court, the removal of my colostomy bag was delayed by over seven months. I am a twenty-two year old leader of men, a soldier, shitting through a hole in my gut into a plastic bag for nearly two thirds of a year when I did not need to. This crushed me.

Trauma suffered

My life has been permanently changed, but I am still the same person I always was. I can still make the girls laugh and have been in relationships since. The loss of my leg is the visible side of my injury but not the one that restricts my return to a more ‘normal’ life. The pain resulting from the trauma suffered by my nervous system is my ultimate enemy and challenge to overcome. The knock-on sedative effects of the painkillers makes my mind slow; it affects my sleep and this in turn makes me angry. I have to let the frustration out somehow. I have become a stronger person as a result of what has happened to me and, despite only having four inches left of my leg and having suffered a lot of pain for two years now, I think myself lucky. The injuries could have been worse: I have seen them arriving at Selly Oak and at Headley Court.

Hidden injury

I look forward to returning to work preparing young commanders for their promotion courses in Pirbright; all I have to do is be free from the hidden injury inside, this deep and persistent pain.

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This is an excerpt from the book Afghanistan: A Tour of Duty. All poceeds are to Blesma. 

During his six month tour of duty in 2007 Captain (Rtd) Alexander Allan, captured a number of unforgettable images of ordinary British soldiers sweltering in the heat, liaising with the locals, training the Afghan Army, fighting off Taliban attacks and taking casualties. His feeling for his troops, the camaraderie, sacrifices and how they cope with what they have been sent to do is evident from every image. The accompanying words are by the soldiers themselves. Buy the book now.

The book is dedicated to Lance Sergeant Adam ‘Goolie’ Ball, who towards the end of their tour of duty lost his leg while trying to save two Afghan colleagues injured by land mines. When “Goolie” was asked by Alexander who he thought would be the best recipients from the sale of his book he had no hesitation in replying “Blesma” for which we are extremely grateful. In his introduction Alexander says: “Some people write prose, some poems, others are raconteurs telling their stories as best they can to an eager audience. These pictures are my diary; take from them what you wish.” Buy the book now.

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